I was named after my grandfather, Herb Morgan (my mother's father). It's a family tradition from my father's side to name kids after grandparents. It's a great tradition because when you're named after someone, you tend to really look up to that person. Who's better than a grandparent? My grandpa Herb was bigger than life to me growing up.
Sadly, he died when I was still a little kid (around 8 I believe). I had just lost my other grandfather a few years before, and my parents were divorced right around this time also. Needless to say, it was a pretty rough time for me.
When I was at my grandfather's wake, and man came up to me and said, "Herbie, your grandfather was the most honest man I've ever known." Those words have stuck with my my whole life. I always wanted to live up to that. To have the same thing said about me some day.
Of course, as I grew up I didn't always tell the truth, but I definitely always heard those words in my head. I can think of several occasions in my life when I decided to be honest, and face the consequences. I can also think of times when I cut off relationships with people that weren't honest.
A few years after my grandfather Herb passed away, my mom gave me his pocket knife. Then, because I wasn't honest (another story for another time), she took it away. I ended up getting the knife back in my twenties. Since that time, that knife has become a symbol to me as a reminder to always be honest.
Why am I blogging about this? Well, last week some amazing stuff happened for me and a small group of other people at Miraval Resort in Arizona while attending the 3 day intensive Equine Experience. I may write more about this later. Anyway, one thing that happened was that my grandfather's knife "magically appeared" one morning. OK, maybe not magic, but as I was getting dressed one morning it fell out of my pants pocket. But here's the weird part: I very seldom carry that knife (like only a few times a year). I had no idea I had brought it with me (I just grabbed the jeans from my closet while packing). It just hit the ground in front of me when I wasn't expecting it, and said to me "it's not only about being honest with other people, it's about being honest with yourself." It was exactly what I needed to hear at that moment. That day I finally got comfortable facing some deep down issues and ended up have an amazing last day at Miraval with my new friends. Really I just scratched the surface, but it showed my just what was possible when I was honest with myself.
At that point I started thinking about "signs" and being open to them. That's not an easy thing for me because I'm not a mystical person at all. But, I am someone who is willing to be open minded, so I've been giving it a try. It's been an interesting experience, because there have been some very unusual "circumstances" since I've been paying attention. And what does this have to do with honesty?
Well, this morning I was doing my usual morning routine of reading my iGoogle page which includes "wikiHow." The topic there was "How to be Honest." As I was reading it I was thinking there needed to be some written for How to be Honest with Yourself. Well, there is! And it's not bad.
Being honest take guts. As the "How to be Honest" article points out, it's a lot easier to be dishonest because you can:
- pretend nothing is wrong
- shift the blame to others
- avoid embarrassment
- distract ourselves
- minimize conflict
- avoid responsibility or work
When I had to get honest with myself last week, all of these were present.
My grandfather Herb has been dead for nearly 30 years, but he set in motion for me something big. I hope that by sharing my story, and maybe making my readers think about honesty for just a few moments, that I might set in motion something for someone else. Last week I saw the power both in myself and others that is unleashed when we are honest with ourselves and others.
If this posting touches you in any special way, please post a comment of send me an email. Parting of setting dominos in motion is taking pride in watching them topple over...
Nice one, Herb!
Posted by: Terry | November 12, 2007 at 12:26 PM
Nice post dude. I often think of my dad's dad (Jack Feld) who set the tone for a lot of things in my life.
Posted by: Brad Feld | November 13, 2007 at 05:15 AM